The Importance of Sleeping

I haven't posted on this page for an AGE!!!! But.  I've been inspired to write again, both because of my own recent experiences and because of those of my beautiful friends.

SLEEP!!!!  I really can't put enough emphasis on how important sleep training is from as early as possible.  I've read that it's the one of the greatest gifts that you can give to your child is the ability to self settle and that it will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

What is Self Settling?
Self settling is the ability for someone to put themselves to sleep with out the assistance of sleep aids (blankies, dummies, music, mummy etc etc).

Look I'm sure that sleep is a very complex issue (as most things in life seem to be), but lets simplify it for the purposes of this discussion and say, look if there is a medical problem... all bets are off... but if there's not and you just haven't got to the point where you are willing to do ANYTHING... listen up peoples.

Can I list some excuse my french "Bull Shit" excuses for us all.

1. My child just doesn't need that much sleep.  (BS!  Yes they do!  No child needs to be up watching TV at 9 or 10 at night, you get your lazy can't be bothered ass up and put them to bed.  And no, don't be surprised if they scream for the next three hours, it's your fault they are OVERTIRED!!!).
2. My 2yr old doesn't need a nap, if I put them down they just won't go to sleep. (BS!  I have never met a 1,2 or 3 year old that doesn't need a nap.... you know why they're evil as hell in the afternoon..... SLEEP!!!)
3. My child doesn't need a routine...(BS!  You and your child need a routine of some description, it doesn't have to be everyday... just a majority of days.  Children and adults for that matter on the whole need to be able to predict what is going to happen in their day.  Children especially, there is mountains of data to back up these claims).

Using myself as the example and guinea pig for the sleep experiment I have used the same self settling sleep training for both my girls (age 6 & 3), we started at like week two of life and have kept it going.  We've had ups and downs, we've been through crisis (which obviously effected the security of my now oldest girl and subsequently sleep), but on the whole we've done REALLY well with the sleeping thing.  So much so that no matter where we are or who is putting them to sleep, we get a full nights sleep with the occasional Boogie Man or toiletry excursion.  They are both awesome self settlers and have been through overseas travel, strange places, different time zones, babysitters, being out at restaurants and cafes, on beaches, in cars and on deflating air mattresses in windy camper trailers.... we have survived.  My diagnosis, this stuff can work!

Sleep only again came to my attention when hanging out with one of my best friends and his girls.  Gorgeous girls, love them to death, awesome in every way but sleeping.  His youngest girl, will routinely wake up at then end of every sleep cycle and whinge for anything (does it matter at 3am in the morning?).  OMG!!! I love children, but I've discovered that after being woken up the sixth time and its only three am.... yeah... not so loving, all warm and fuzziness flees from my heart and moves to my head and eyesight creating a weird throbbing sensation.  

It takes some restraint and manipulative energy for me to keep the anger from my being (as I'm sure its not productive in this situation) and coax the beloved child back to sleep....   See this is not a one off, its a regular....  SELF SETTLING PEOPLES!!  I'm not her Momma, so its not my problem to solve, but I know a good move for some people is Karitane or Tresillian.  Or in J's case, take your booty and your baby and head to Momma's house for some intensive sleep training or retraining (and have someone else make you a tea.... or a vodka).

SEX (or lack there of)

Did you know that libido is one of the first things to go when a person is suffering from exhaustion?  When a persons primary needs are not met (and no gents, sex is not one of them) procreation gets erased from the bodies list of to dos and moved to the to don'ts.  Long story short, lack of sleep doesn't only effect your sanity or lack there of, it also effects whether your partner will 'put out' or not.  Note to self: Maybe you should get up sometimes & washing the dishes only works in your favour.... = you might get some!

Lets finish up by saying, the road won't be completely predictable or trouble free, but if there is an easier way i.e. sleep training, at least consider doing it, after the initial war it can only be good.  And maybe you can get out after 7pm and do that dance class or go to the movies with some regularity.

Where to learn sleep training?

There are millions of books.  I used Tizzie Hall, Save Our Sleep, and yes I know my little cousin is going to go into catharsis and hyperventilate as she relays the horrors stories of the control crying devil... But.  It worked for me and I've passed it to HEAPS of people who it has also worked for.  But, you can really use anyones, Gina Ford, etc etc.

There is also Karitane and Tresillian who both run sleep schools and have amazing free resources available on their websites and helplines. Approximate sleep requirements amd methods can be found here

http://www.karitane.com.au/families/pdf/Sleep_and_Settle_Brochure_2012_LR.pdf

So for my beautiful friends who haven't had babies yet... get the heads up now and have a plan BEFORE you have your bubba as once the day is here, your time to think is somewhat compromised.

So I hope you all sleep and your babies sleep well.  If you have any knowledge or personal experience give it out, our mothering community can only be richer for it.  Especially for those with medical issues that effected sleep and you were able to find a way around it... Share and teach us!!

Love x