Bringing Up Great Kids

Crazy must also be passed on...

I think it's time I move on.  Surely as a matter of choice and opportunity I can always just jump between age brackets, but my children are now 3 & 7 years of age and their needs and my experiences are varied.  My environment has changed as has my location and the parents around me differ along with the landscape.

I have done so many parenting and post domestic violence courses it would make your head spin.  Bringing Up Great kids just finished today.

Awesome information, not the least of which comes from other parents and carers.

Everytime I come into one of these groups the nymph of prejudgement sits on my shoulder, it looks around and wants to start drawing imaginary boxes around the fabulous array of individuals I see, some known, some unknown.  I do what I regularly do is tell it to hush and lets see what happens.  I never fail to be blown away by peoples stories.  The foster carers that have had hundreds of children under their roofs, most of whom were very troubled and quite often mentally challenged in someway.  The mother of seven who just lost her husband to suicide who is somehow still walking around and getting her kids to school and is struggling to deal with the varying degrees of her children's grief — never mind her own.  The islamic lady with not much english, who is living between cultures and is puzzled about how to find balance in her life...  The list of experiences is endless.

Yet the same thing brings us all together... seeking.  The search for ideas on how to parent, we want to be better.  Here let me exclude in some courses I have attended (particularly court ordered ones) the depressingly abundant number of admittedly uninterested parties who were like "Just get my piece of paper and get out of here"  and when asked "Did you not get anything out of this course?" brazenly answered "Nah! It was a bunch of B*** S****" (insert yobo Australian accent here... not being racist, just situation specific - real story ladies and gentlemen).

So for those parents who seek of which I assume you are due to sitting on the net and having enough patience or morbid curiosity to sit through my online natter, I'd love to take the opportunity to shove some courses, books, organisations etc in your face should you feel the need to take it further and SEEK for yourselves.

I think this is particularly of help given the fact that most of the information regarding childrens brain development and age appropriate needs simply wasn't available till the last few years or so.  Even professionals are constantly updating as the science grows, and given that we are the first point of call for our kids, shouldn't we then take it upon ourselves to be just as knowledgable about them as their childcare teacher (feel free to disagree).

So let me break it down, for any of my reader feel free to add to this list in the comments section, knowledge is power and I can only help with Australia, and the internet is our greatest point to share information with others, so share on!

Bringing Up Great Kids
I just finished this course today.  It mainly covers not how to cope with behaviours, but how to understand the behaviours, why they are their.  It talks about:

• The messages we have received about parenting. 
• The messages we have retained and assimilated about parenting
• The messages that we pass on to our children
• Brain development through the ages
• Mindfulness in parenting
• Self awareness
• self care
• Parenting goals and outcomes

Awesome course.   Simply constructed in a way that makes sense.  I would recommend this one to parents of ALL ages as it works on the basis that once you understand why the child is acting a certain way, you can better deal with the behaviour as you will understand that the behaviour is only symptomatic of what is underneath.  

It doesn't have all the answers just some.

Written by the Australian Childhood Foundation - they can be found on www.childhood.org.au or Freecall: 1800 176 453 for more information on the program or to find a service provider in your area.

Grassroots Parenting
This course was very basic.  Looking at parenting from the ground up.  A lot of parents who had lost their children into state custody were court ordered into this course.

• What are children's needs? 
• How to parent in a very basic way?  
• Ideas on food, play activities, child safety.  
• What happens with children at what age. 
• Expectations and communication in an age appropriate way
• Age appropriate behaviours and safe discipline strategies
• Self care

Really repetitive, it is as the name suggests "Grassroots", I was lucky had a great facilitator who had some awesome age appropriate play ideas.  I would suggest it mainly for people with children 0-12yrs.

Provider in this case was Catholic Care.  Please don't be put off, Catholic Care are just another funded service provider, they in no way bring religion into any of their social services work.  Check them out at http://www.catholiccare.org/families or contact them on Ph: 02 93905377.

Keeping Kids in Mind

One of the most awesome courses and heartbreaking at the same time.  This one is for post separation/post divorce parenting.  Be warned almost everyone in this room is court ordered or court suggested to be here and they don't believe that they need it.  Never the less, the information, particularly on emotion coaching in this course is really important.  The focus of this course is wholly and solely on the children and what children experience going through the breakdown of the parents or carers relationship and post relationship management to minimise the damage on the child or to heal damage already done.

The course is written by a bunch of child psychologists, counsellors etc and is quite simply heart breaking - but necessary.

Anyone who had children and has been through, or is going through a break up this one is invaluable and gives a lot of insight and management skills to manage yourself and try to make peace with the other party for the sake of the children.

Provider was Catholic Care (as above) but I know this one is conducted by other orgs as well.

I'll try to add some more at a later time, but it's school pick up and I have to go.

Peace & Love

The Baby List - Wheels of Steel - The Stroller Rant Continues

Oh who for art thou Phil, and Ted and haloed be thy name for thou hath created so hardy a vehicle, and thin, like I used to be, to scoot through shopping isles and around rude women and mindless men and old people who feel like demanding respect and rude as hell is the same thing.

Thy name I invoke oh Phil, and Ted thy praises will I sing for long ago I bought your metro pack when I had to trade in my sling.  A sporty yummy mummy, I raced around Bondi, I worked out your 3 wheeler with my head held high.

Love love love P&T

I could go on but the corn is even getting to me... So... here 'tis - LOVE my Phil & Ted Sports, have it in black and bought it before baby number two, because I knew I would need to seat two children and a pram truly has to last you till about age five, for those long late night treks where your angel really just needs to sleep somewhere.

The Phil & Ted is a hearty and well thought out piece of machinery.  It is as compact as pos (obviously not talking about the vibe).  And here is some bullet points of the pros:

• Narrow frame
• Solid
• Great steering (one handed steering a breeze)
• Easy for jogging and walking - and I shop with it quite easily too (although I could have a concrete ankle bracelet and do that)
• Heaps of under pram space.
• A simple bike pump (which I keep in a handy under pram pocket) pumps up the tyres.
• Easy conversion from one to baby with toddler or child with toddler (heavier one in front)
• Rain and Shade covers though expensive are 'faultless' and great quality
• Compact enough to fit in any car boot, the wheels even come off easy if more space required
• Beach friendly

OK - there are always Cons, here they are:

• Heavy frame (which is rectified in the alloy models of Dash and Vibe)
• Quite awkward to fold down (I can never catch the old buses with this pram), it's fine with cars and with the disabled buses which you can roll onto, but too hard for any quick fold down situation (both hands needed)
• ..... can't think of anything else.

All I can say is Phil & Ted which is a New Zealand brand's products basically rule.  They're really well thought out, good quality and you really pay for what you get.  I've also got their Metro Pack (the backpack for 6 months to 5yrs (which I would never do by the way!), but it has been on many bush walks and music festivals with me... Awesome, love it and the kids love sitting in it too, they feel like they're better than you because they're taller than you, which is REALLY important in their little egotistical lives, I know some people over the age of 12 where it still is.

Phil and Teds are now sold at most major chain baby supplies, they retail for around $500 for the classic up to $950 for the Verve.  Then there is all the add ons, the adapters, the doubles kits, the rain cover, the cocoon, the shade cover etc etc etc.  But, you don't have to buy everything, and you don't have to buy it all at once and as I said before ****SPEND MONEY HERE**** 

Top pointers are:

1. GO TO THE STORE AND TEST DRIVE
2. DON'T LET THE PUSHY SALESWOMAN TALK YOU INTO ANYTHING BUT DO PUMP HER FOR INFORMATION
3. KNOW YOUR HABITS AND YOUR LIFESTYLE, ARE YOU ACTIVE, DO YOU HAVE A SMALL CAR - BUY THE PRAM THAT SUITS YOU!!! OTHERWISE YOU'LL JUST HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF PRAM AND NO BOOT SPACE FOR SHOPPING OR LIKE ME BE TREKKING ACROSS CENTENNIAL GARDENS WITH A PRAM THAT IS MEANT FOR WOOLWORTHS...TRUST ME IT JUST AIN'T CUTE!
4. SPEND MONEY HERE!!! PRAMS CAN LAST YOU A LIFETIME IF YOU BUY RIGHT AND THEN BE SOLD ON FOR GOOD MONEY.
5. YOU MUST BE ABLE TO STEER THE PRAM WITH ONE HAND WITHOUT KILLING YOUR CHILD OR ANY PASSERSBY.

And that's the current completion of my rant on prams, strollers and what comes in between.

xx